10 Warning Signs of an Unhealthy and Painful Relationship

Many toxic relationship habits are baked into our culture and many people end up accepting them as normal. Why? Because unhealthy relationships are sometimes difficult to recognize in a relationship, as the damage is not immediately obvious. Here, I’ll show you the signs of an unhealthy and painful relationship.

Not only that, you’ll learn the effects of unhealthy relationships and what you can do to prevent yourself from such relationships. But before that, I want you to understand that having a healthy relationship is doable.

A healthy relationship brings out your best qualities and makes you feel better about yourself. But keep in mind, that a healthy relationship is not the same as a “perfect” relationship. No relationship is perfect all of the time.

While everyone makes mistakes, you can learn to love better by recognizing unhealthy signs and shifting to healthy ones. So, in this article, you’re going to learn the effects of unhealthy relationships and how to fix an unhealthy relationship

Here are signs of an unhealthy relationship…

1. Your partner is always competing with you

If your partner constantly compares themselves to you and wants to show that they are better and cooler than you in everything, it is a warning sign that you don’t have to ignore. 

Often, such a thing takes place in public, and every word you say becomes a hook for a heated debate. Your partner takes advantage of every opportunity to assert themselves at your expense and diminish your accomplishments.

Both partners improve and develop harmoniously in a healthy relationship. In an unhealthy relationship, you are viewed as a competitor who must be defeated in any way to obtain the palm.

2. Your energy is drained from you

Relationships have an impact on our health and well-being. If you’ve started sleeping less, lost or gained weight, and constantly feel like a squeezed lemon, you may be living with an energy vampire.

Such people feed on other people’s energy and rejoice every time they sap another person’s strength. You physically lack the resources, strength, and desire to act in such a relationship. Apathy envelopes you, bringing your own failure and depression to the forefront.

3. You are continually guilty of all mortal sins

In an unhealthy relationship, the partner does not see the sources of problems and failures in their actions and is always quick to blame others, particularly you. You find yourself being held responsible for everything, including his mistakes and events beyond your control.

Your only task is to take the hit while not irritating your partner, thereby preventing his frequent outbursts of rage. Sometimes you just want to get away from it all and avoid your companion.

4. They are always looking for ways to change you

Remember that a mature and strong relationship is founded on accepting your partner for who they are. In unhealthy relationships, you are compared to others while being openly told or subtly hinted that you should change something about yourself in order to improve.

Maybe you should lose or gain weight, cut or grow your hair, change your image, or get rid of half your wardrobe. You’re always missing something that would make your partner completely satisfied with you.

5. Everything you do is criticized

One of the signs of an unhealthy and painful relationship is that everything you do or say is bad to your partner. No matter how hard you try, your companion will always find a way to criticize you and your ideas. The omelet will be overly salty, and the dress will be too short.

You will always be incorrect. It is pointless to justify or prove the opposite; there will always be new reasons for dissatisfaction. If that is happening in your relationship, it is how emotionally unhealthy relationships work. 

6. Everything you do is under the control of your partner

This is one of the effects of unhealthy relationships. Your partner is literally obsessed with controlling your entire life. They must know where and with whom you are, what you eat, and what you are wearing right now. They don’t care about your own decision and self-will. They always want to tell you what to do.

Control can be mistaken for care at times, but if your partner feels like the master of your life, it is one of the signs of emotionally unhealthy relationships. People in healthy and harmonious relationships recognize that having a life and hobbies outside of the relationship is normal and even beneficial to the couple.

7. External Affair

Affairs can take many forms, including sexual or emotional. What matters is that it can have an impact on your relationship with your lover. When you devote your partner’s love to someone else, it’s natural for your partner to feel neglected and hurt.

It also implies that the person who had or is having the affair is well aware that something is wrong with the structure of your relationship. So an affair is one of the symptoms of an unhealthy relationship.

8. Your partner doesn’t speak your love language

Often people misunderstand the needs of a partner. At first, there is nothing to worry about: you can make up for everything if you want. It is possible and necessary to learn to speak the same language of love. Problems arise if for a long time the partner has not understood what you like and what you really need in love, and not him.

Psychologists distinguish five love languages: words of encouragement, time, gifts, help, and touch. We all need something different from each other. It is important to understand what language of love your companion speaks. Imagine that your love language is time. It is sad if the partner does not understand this and tries to atone for his absence in your life with gifts.

9. Secrecy and dishonesty

If you can’t be completely honest with your partner all of the time, you shouldn’t hide important issues from them either. In a healthy relationship, dishonesty and secrecy are non-negotiables.

So, if one of you begins to keep important information from the other, this is one of the signs of an unhealthy relationship. Whatever it is, talk about it and see how close you can get to each other.

10. There is no intimacy

It’s hard to argue with human nature. Physical intimacy and regular sex life are necessary attributes of a healthy and strong relationship. Intimacy creates bonds between couples.

If there is no intimacy in your relationship and tactile contact is kept to a minimum, this indicates serious problems in the couple’s life.

In Conclusion

What to do if you see these signs in your relationship? If you notice any signs of an unhealthy and painful relationship in your relationship, don’t ignore them. Ignoring them can lead to abuse. 

Recognizing a problem is the first step toward solving it. If you want your partner to behave differently, talk heart to heart with them and voice the problem. Communication is necessary to resolve conflicts in a relationship. 

If you try your best and it doesn’t work, it is better to end the painful relationship and find a way to make yourself happy. You could read how to build a romantic relationship that lasts longer.