Infidelity in a relationship is something that hurts a lot. Most times if you check what causes people to cheat on their partner, you will know that it would have been avoided if they had been able to communicate well in their relationship.
The hurt that cheating brings to the person who is the victim in a relationship is so much that it is very hard to come out from. Nobody will take such an act lightly. It is something that can destroy a relationship that has lasted for a long time. Even if it is your first time cheating on your partner, the impact is still the same. The trust will no longer be there. If at all you will have a successful relationship after cheating, there are still steps you have to take to achieve that.
I will be telling you how to help your partner heal after cheating in this article. Remember, you can save a relationship after infidelity if you genuinely feel sorry for what you did and you are ready to make amends to see that things work out between you and your partner again.
How To Help Your Partner Heal After Cheating
An apology can not change what happened but at least it will help your partner to know that you are sorry for what you did. And if you are going to apologize, do it out of sincerity. You have to make your partner see how sorry you feel over what happened, your actions should also show that you are sorry for what happened.
This is not a time to buy gifts for your partner, no. You have to understand that the situation here is not that you miss a dinner date or you forgot a special event. It is about infidelity in a relationship, it is way bigger than any other issue in a relationship. This is you killing the trust your partner has for you and bringing so many thoughts in the mind of your partner. So, to have a successful relationship after cheating, you have to first apologize to your partner.
Cut Every Connection With Your Secret Partner
If you are going to have your relationship back after cheating, you have to end things with whosoever you have been cheating on your partner with. You can’t say you still want your relationship with your partner or you want to help your partner heal when you are still seeing or contacting your secret partner.
You have to cut every tie you have with the person, block the person on every social media platform and make sure the person understands clearly that you are done with them and that you want to fix your relationship with your partner.
Do not give room for suspicions and assumptions. There is no way things will get better between you and your partner if you are still seeing your side lover.
Rebuild Your Friendship
How to repair a relationship after cheating is to see the relationship as a new relationship. You have to start afresh with everything as though you are starting a new relationship. Due to what happened, you should not feel bad if your partner’s interest in you reduces or is no longer there as it used to be. You know very well that if you are in your partner’s shoes, you might show off a more cold attitude than the one you are currently receiving from your partner.
You have to start by rebuilding the friendship you once had with your partner. The connection has to flow freely, do not force it. Try and start doing those things you were doing at first when the relationship started that made you guys bond with each other.
Let your partner see a friend in you. Don’t try to get everything automatically back the way it was, you are not dealing with a robot. This is a human being that has emotions. A lot has gone wrong and things can’t be fixed automatically.
At this point, you have to secure the friendship you have with each other. When your partner starts seeing that friendliness in you, they will understand that you still care about them.
To help your partner heal after cheating and also have a successful relationship after cheating, you have to rebuild trust in your relationship. Now that you have cheated on your partner, one of the effects it will have on them is that the trust they have for you will be broken. And without trust, you can not have a healthy and lasting relationship.
For your partner to trust you, you have to give them reasons that such a thing will never repeat itself in your relationship again. You have to do everything possible to make them see you as someone who has changed and learned from their mistakes. Try not to pretend over it. Let your actions and words be genuine.
You have to let your partner see through whatever you are doing. Honesty is required if you are going to help your partner heal after cheating. This is one of the ways to save your relationship after infidelity.
Allow your partner access to whatever you have been private about. If you have passwords on your phone(s) or laptop, you should remove them. At this point, in your relationship, you have to give up on certain personal things to see that your relationship is repaired. Try not to give your partner reasons to think that they’re is something you are hiding. Let your partner be able to see through you. If you are going anywhere, let your partner know. Also, let them know when you have gotten there. This is not you allowing your life to be monitored or controlled, it is you trying to fix your relationship after cheating.
It might be hard at the beginning but with time you will get used to it. Remember the reason why you are doing it, this will help you get comfortable with everything.
Time might not be able to make your partner forget what happened, but it can help your partner heal from the pains of cheating. You have to understand that your partner needs all the time they might need. People heal in different ways. You might be able to get over such heartbreak in a short time while for some other person, it can take a longer time.
You need to be patient with your partner during this time. Don’t be quick to get tired of waiting for them to get back to normal. Let your patience be part of the sacrifices you have to make to see that your relationship is successful again. As you are waiting for your partner to heal, make sure you don’t add salt to the injury. Because if you do, the healing process will take longer time than it should have.
As you are trying to reconcile the issues you are having in your relationship, there are mistakes you should avoid.
Marriage Reconciliation Mistakes To Avoid After Infidelity
First, you should understand that there is no perfect marriage. Marriage comes with different problems and challenges and if you are going to have a successful relationship after cheating you have to avoid making certain mistakes that might cause your relationship to crash totally.
Something must have been going wrong in the relationship that caused your partner to cheat on you. This is not to say that you are the cause of what happened in your relationship. but, you might not have paid close attention to something in your relationship that led to your partner cheating.
If you are going to reconcile your marriage with your partners there are mistakes you should avoid:
- As the victim don’t be in a haste to take decisions over what happened. At this point do not let your emotions cloud your sense of judgment. This will help you not to have regrets later.
- Do not bottle up your feelings. Express yourself and let your partner see how too hurt you feel over what happened. If you keep everything within you you might get to start overthinking the situation. And overthinking after being cheated on can cause a lot of damage emotionally and also to your physical health.
- As an infidel, you should not point fingers. No matter what you think is the reason that made you cheat on your partner, what you did is wrong. Cheating on your partner will not solve the problems you are having in your relationship. So do not try to point fingers at what or who made you do what you did.
- Try as much as possible not to always bring up what happened. Yes, you are hurting but trying to rob it on the face of your partner is not the right thing to do. Remember, your partner already feels terrible over what happened, the least you should do is not talk about it.
You can have a successful relationship after cheating if you want to. Issues in marriage can be resolved if the parties involved are willing to make their relationship work. There are people whose relationships became very stronger after infidelity, so it is possible to have your partner back after cheating.
If the relationship is essential to you then doing all that has been written down here wouldn’t be a big deal for you.